17 June 2002 - 21:13

Well, I've been sick for the past three days with some kind of icky cold. Fortunately, I didn't have to go to work today. Poor Raccoon got stung by a stingray, which sting then got burned and infected (shudder, wince), which is really horrible, but meant some time off for me.

Yesterday when Raccoon called to say not to come in today, she said she'd call today to tell me about tomorrow, and she hasn't. She hasn't called or left a voicemail message or e-mailed me, and I don't have her home phone number. So I guess I should be sleeping now, just in case, but I'm too stressed.

See, I just talked to Jade. Most of my readers don't know her, but she's my bestest friend. We've been best friends since we were like, six and in kindergarten. Our lives have changed a lot, but we still love each other. She lives in Missouri... anyway, she's getting married, and I have to be her Maid of Honor, I mean, duh, she's my best friend. And the wedding was planned for August 10, an ideal time between when my internship ends and when New College classes begin.

But then the company her fiance was training to work with went under abruptly and he decided to join the airforce (whatever my personal feelings and biases, I can't argue that it's a good solid way to provide an instant home and schooling and money for a family. Jade has two precious children and another on the way). And for him to finish training in time to be with Jade when their new kid is born, they had to push the wedding date forward. And I just found out tonight and it's less than three weeks from now, July 6th.

AAAAHHhHHH! So I probably won't be able to get off from my internship, because, well, that would make life hell for Raccoon, who's already had a wide array of problems trying to collect data for her doctoral thesis. Not only would it be cruel, it would haunt me--I can't do something so totally irresponsible working in my field! I couldn't possibly make up for it. So, I may have to leave Friday night and just stay for the weekend. Not only that, but since it's less than three weeks, airtravel prices will be more than was bargained for, plus it's the closest weekend to the fourth of july, which I guess might mean lots more travel and higher air prices. We were having enough trouble just figuring out when and how Wheel and I could get home for a couple weeks in August, and that with frequent flier miles to use and everything. So this might end up being more expensive, it might preclude my bringing Wheel, and most severely, it might preclude my getting to spend time with my family, whom I haven't seen since Christmas and have been missing dreadfully. But how could I ever forgive myself for missing Jade's wedding? She's talked about how much she wants me to be there since we were in gradeschool, and a lot every time I've talked to her in the past few months. I want to see her in her pretty ivory dress and I want to help her get everything ready and I want to comfort her when being around two hostile families gets overwhelming. I want to dance with her at her reception. She already has a dress for me and everything.

At the moment, the worst part is not being able to talk to my mom about it. I've been trying to call ever since I got off the phone with Jade, and no luck. First I got her voicemail and then I got "no such number." I guess her cell phone is out of range or out of power or something. And it's getting late, and as I said, I should be asleep, but I'm too keyed up.

Wheel is upset because he didn't get to watch wrestling, even though he set everything up for it. Junglefreak popped by for less than five minutes before rushing off to rest for his own internship. Without being able to talk to mom or Wheel at the moment, I want to talk to Platty (I also have a few choice words to say to him about adoption, but that's a different story)... but he's not online. I have some potential phone numbers for him, but it's getting late, and I'm not quite worked up enough to try them. He's not really a phone person (like several computer geeks I know).

So I guess I'll just go to sleep. Wheel's packing a lunch for me, and I guess if I don't hear from Raccoon, I'll go in tomorrow, just in case. I don't want to, if I might just have to turn around and go back.. I'm still sick, and it's always worst in the morning, of course... but there's no way around it. I don't have a way to get in touch with her. I can call the office, but no one will be there by the time I need to leave. Sometimes it sucks so bad being at the bottom of the foodchain. Even schedule changes that they know in advance (like last week when Starr left, we got the day off 'cause they were packing and didn't need our help), they don't tell us until the night before.

So I'll e-mail mom and tell her to read this entry. I'll reevaluate my very meagre finances in case I have to pay for travel expenses. I'll keep doing what I do.

G'night world.