17 April 2002 - 17:38

I really need to practice holding my breath. I have every confidence that some day, some where, I will end up in the water with dolphins. Am I advocating swimming with dolphins? No, not per se--they're large, dangerous predators, and they deserve to be left alone and so on. Still, there are a variety of captive dolphin swim programs in the U.S., at least some of which seem to be responsibly managed, and there are actually a lot of opportunities to swim with wild dolphins. Ultimately, it may simply be one of those things that I have read about so often that I am convinced I will experience it.

And I am. So... When that day comes, I want to be ready. I know that as a Homo sapiens I will always be pathetic at moving around underwater, but there's definite room for improvement! Breath is the place to start. Right now my under water breath holding hovers under a minute. When I swim frequently (that would be summers) it's plateaued at a minute and a half. The human max is up around five minutes (pearl divers). It's certainly an ability that can be deliberately practiced and improved, although I'm not sure of the ideal method. A really good aerobic exercise plan would increase my lung capacity, undoubtably necessary for really long periods. Hyperventilating for a few seconds will extend the time too. I suspect that simply practicing holding my breath and attempting longer and longer periods each day, in and out of water, would make for the most reliable progress, but I am unclear as to the physiological mechanisms. Would a stronger diaphragm help? Having stronger muscles in general (in this case, particularly, those needed for swimming) would decrease my energy needs to an extent, right? Will my body use oxygen more efficiently if it needs to? I know that humans who live at very high altitudes adapt to the lower oxygen levels...

My dolphin kick is sucky. Partly, I never had anyone to teach me. My last swim teacher (about 5 years ago) refused. My bubble rings are half-way decent. I should really take a synchronised swimming class.

But graceful strokes and cohesive rings of air are useless if I can't stay down to play.

A few nights ago I dreamed that Dr. Baskin kissed me in front of the entire ALR class. On the cheek, not the lips, but for a good bit longer than just a peck. Rather, a real kiss ... a startled awkward moment of intimacy based on physical touch. In front of a bunch of classmates. How middle school. I was surprised that it happened, in my dream.

The next night I dreamed that Ryan and I and someone else were flying a time machine (that moved through space as well) back in history, except it malfunctioned and we made an emergency landing and happened to end up in an apartment in nazi Germany. There was an eleven year old girl there, it was her room. We weren't supposed to be there, obviously, and we were really afraid of getting caught, and there was some kind of inspection going on. When people panicked and hid I ended up being still out so I pretended to be the girl to the inspector. I was much more healthy and well fed than she was, and I was afraid that food and water provisions would be taken away from the family since it looked like I might not need them. I thought that perhaps if that happened the girl's parents could contest it by taking the girl in, but then, that might get them in deeper trouble.

Kissing Gillian and being chased by Nazis! What less appropriate dream material is there? I am tempted to feel ashamed of myself, but I proudly and steadfastly declare no responsibility for my night time dream life. At the same time, I have trouble embracing anti-social dreams, safe and worthy release of outrageous and forbidden impulses they may (or may not) be. Perhaps another thing to practice? If my shadow side wants to talk, I'm here to listen. Or participate. Defend the freedoms and sanctity of my fantasy realm.